I think I have a definite tendency to blow things out of proportion. Everything always feels 100 times worse than it should be to me. I shouldn't be unhappy - EVER. I have a great life and a great husband. But I am sad because I can't do what I love to do more than anything in the world and still make a living.
I love being a housewife. I love to come up with creative ways to care for my husband and my household. I don't even have children yet. I don't think I even want children. I just love to care for my home.
I have been studying many different books about gardening and homesteading and mini-farming. It's been fascinating and disappointing at the same time. For some reason, all books that have been written and published regarding self-sufficient living have been written by political-environmentalist-liberal activist who live in Los Angeles and encourage guerilla gardening - which apparently is the art of destroying someone's personal property without their permission and turning it into a vegetable patch. The people who write these books are city people who are proud of being able to grow their food and keep chickens on their property - and they should be. What they should also know is how rediculous they sound to those of us who live in the Midwest. Why live in California at all if you want to live a Midwestern lifestyle? Oh wait, because they don't. They just want to play pretend.
I want to truly live a homesteader's lifestyle. Unfortunately I married the wrong man and live in the wrong time for that. My sister and I were 'imagining' this morning what life would be like if we had a small farm. She would care for the livestock and I would work in the fields. Our youngest sister would work the farm stand and sell goods, but we haven't told her that yet. We would have seperate house to live in, but one great big building that would be our kitchen and our dining room. We would collect eggs and bake bread and preserve our harvest. It would be hard work but we would love it because it would be our own.
And then reality sets in. No one can truly be self-sufficient anymore - thank you, federal government, for consuming our freedoms and lives by the way. We wouldn't be able to pay farm taxes - which are exorbitant. Dreams are so fun while being in them, but reality is a terrible thing. No wonder so many people develop alternate realities.
We do have a small garden. I do have huge plans for my yard to increase it's productivity. I do believe that grass lawns are wasted space. Nothing gives me more pleasure than pulling vegetables out of my garden and chopping them up and turning them into dinner. I've been teaching myself the ancient art of food preservation and it's been a lot of fun. I go out and pull weeds because it's therapeutic and gives me something to attack on blue days. I journal the growth almost daily because it give me such joy.
I wonder how many of us are NOT political-environmentalist-liberal-activists, who truly want to be self-sufficient, exist? I wonder if anyone besides myself gets tired of hearing about global climate change and carbon footprints and would just like to know I can rely on God and the sweat of my brow to get us through this season?