Thursday, November 4, 2010


My whole week has been filled with rejection. Not just of me personally, but it has been all around me.

For starters, as of this moment I was rejected for an amazing job opportunity that I wanted more than anything. It was an opportunity to work at City Hall, and I had everything going for me, including the recommendation of the person who currently holds the position. But when I called them to see what the status was, the reply was "We already have our candidates chosen, but we'll call you if anything changes." That broke my heart into a million pieces. I haven't felt so unwanted in a long time. I actually cried, and my husband didn't tell me to buck up and keep looking for a change because he knew that it would have been perfect for me. Even now, my disappointment is so heavy that my heart feels like it is aching.

But that wasn't the only thing. I had to turn down several applicants for insurance this week and I felt like the worst person in existence for it. A young woman tried applying for short term disability and cancer coverage, and she was 4 months pregnant and has cervical cancer. My boss thought she was an idiot, but I think she's desperate. 3 children, single mom, pregnant and cervical cancer? If anyone needs insurance, it's THIS woman, and I had to reject her. And my work, in general, comes with huge amounts of rejection. People are very cautious with how they are spending their money these days, and the word 'insurance' seems to immediately turn their ears inside out.

Obviously, it was Election Day on Tuesday, and that's a huge rejection stamp, regardless of who you voted for. Someone was elected and someone was rejected. My dear friend Jackie did not win her Congressional run, and I was disappointed. Everyone is so conditioned to vote for a particular party that no one takes time to look at the candidate and their actual beliefs. I met Jackie 10 years ago when she was a guest missionary, speaking in my parents' Sunday school class. I have watched her ambitions in politics with a good amount of skepticism as I do with all politicians, but because I knew her personal beliefs and her family background, I knew she was someone I would willingly vote for. But she came with that 'Republican' party tag, and I think that's almost a dirty word in our little part of the state. I was still disappointed for her. I had hoped she would be given a chance. At least it was a very close race.

Fortunately there are some upsides. I did finally manage to write 3 new insurance policies yesterday and today and tomorrow I have open enrollments at two other retirement homes. My days this week have taken their toll on my body. I haven't slept well again, and I've had to get up before 5 every day to get to Goshen before 8 - a 45-50 minute drive on a good day. I have missed meals and haven't been getting the good nutrition that I need. I am grateful that it's Thursday. The weekend is approaching and even more - the holidays are approaching.

So if you are feeling rejected today my friends, hold your heads up high. Jesus himself was rejected and beaten, but ultimately conquered that rejection for our sakes. There is a window open somewhere for me, I just haven't found it yet.

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