Thursday, November 18, 2010

I Had Words With A Squirrel Before Breakfast

This delightful little piece of literature was composed by my cousin, Kelli Davis. Kelli and I are very nearly kindred spirits, as we both have a love for gourmet cooking, C.S. Lewis and the Beatles. I told her I simply had to share it with the 10 people that read my blog. :)  It's by far some of the best poetry I've picked up this year. Not kidding. I'm growing weary of the 'poor me and my inability to adjust to society' pieces and the sexual odes. A bit of comedy was just what I needed to restore my faith in the poetic arts. Enjoy!!


I had words with a squirrel before breakfast.

I fear they weren't so kind.

But what to do

When a squirrel looks at you

And seems to be out of his mind????

He clumsily climbed up the glass door.

I banged on the glass with a shout.

He flew through the air

Shedding furry, black hair

His little heart pounding, no doubt.

The air-conditioner next he did summit.

Skittering from side to side.

Stealing a glance,

I near wet my pants

When our eyes met and stopped him mid-stride!

Beady, glazed eyes all a twittering;

Tail swishing madly about.

He seemed to be thinking

Without one eye blinking

"Should I run or just sit here and pout?"

"If I sit here and look cute then maybe,"

I could see the thought in his mind,

"She'll then let me in

even though I'm not kin

And I'll warm my cute, furry behind!"

"Not so fast," I thought right back at him

"Your behind belongs NOT in MY house",

The glass I banged more

With a shout and a roar;

"You're cute but still kin to a mouse!!!!!"

But all of that mattered not to him.

He ignored me like a teenage brat.

He clawed and he dug

Prying through with his mug

The window below where he sat.

My thoughts went racing at this point!

What to do if he gets inside?

"Not here!" I did yell

And swiftly he fell

and ran off somewhere else to abide.

So now it's spiders AND tree rats

And a stray centipede or two

who try to get in

much to my chagrine

to warm themselves, skitter, and chew...

Well, a warning to all you dread creatures.

I'm not a nice woman, oh no!

You won't live long;

Your death knell will gong

and your carcass will help the grass grow!

1 comment:

eB photography said...

That last stanza would go great on a decorative yard signpost.