I am referencing the Chicago tune, not that stupid show with Tim Allen from the 90's.
I have been reading some guides to help improve my writing skills and thus far I have been irritated and disappointed that I simply have not found the time to dedicate myself to it. I'm lucky if I manage to get a one-page journal entry put down every three days or so. It makes me feel like I am completely unable to properly prioritize. Working my job is, strangely enough, not a priority to me, but getting out of debt is one of our highest priorities, and thus, the conundrum.
Two days until July 1, and so I've been sitting at the computer, pulling up my share of the monthly bills, getting them scheduled and budgeted. I feel proud that we paid off 3 small debts last week, and proud that my individual debts are decreasing. One student loan is going to be under $3000 soon. I owe less than $7000 on my car now. We owe less than $2000 on a credit card that almost had $10,000 on it 3 years ago. I am proud of our efforts, but it's discouraging to have to set aside my passions in order to continue working on these goals.
I've been reading "If You Want To Write" by Brenda Ueland, which has been a beautiful read, but sadly, I fear I' haven't had the time to do any actual writing. It's been more like "I want to write, but I barely have the time to read!" I love her imagery and the way she reminds me that really, there is nothing wrong with ME. It's the rest of the world that simply cannot understand where I am thinking from. It's hard being a right-brained person in a society dominated by left-brained pragmatists who value productivity over creativity.
It is now about 8:22 in the morning, and I am due in at work in 2 hours. I will commence my usual morning routine at this point, showering, makeup, dressing, trying to fit in a load of laundry or wash a few dishes before I leave for the day. All the while, my right brain is begging me to call in sick (which I won't do, and never do), sit in the chair for awhile with everything silent in the house and wait for something beautiful to flow from mind to pen and paper. Then maybe drive downtown to that empty coffee bar and see how much they are leasing it for. Then go to a farm, or an orchard somewhere, and breathe in the smells of fresh fruits and earth.
When my thoughts are full of these things, it's no wonder I'm a total failure by the world's standards.
Fortunately, I don't listen to the world. I value what God has created in me. :)